Monday, June 6, 2011

Byeynyn's review of ABDC6's Finale!

 It starts out with both IaMmE and ICONic Boyz performing together to a master mix of Pink’s “Raise Your Glass.” The setting is the streets, which have little to do with glasses being raised, but whatever. Actually, it’s more like a “West Side Story” Broadway setting, and those streets are ruled by jazz hands. ICONic Boyz is wearing orange shirts with leather vests, while IME is wearing purple jackets with some sparkles. Chachi pirouettes in the beginning, and is featured in the middle a lot. Think she’d be good on SYTYCD? They both go off to separate fences. IaMmE tuts while in a rectangular formation, and ICONic Boyz does some choreo as well. Some of the boys are carried off by the IaMmE members during the “dirty little freaks” lyrics. Hee. Members of both crews tut on the steps, and Moon slides to the front to rock out and do a popping solo. The kids are banging on the trash cans. They all go into more group choreography, which is very fun and very appropriate for a show opener. They all raise their imaginary glasses filled with imaginary juice because most of them are too young for imaginary alcohol. The routine is high energy and pretty catchy, and having the two top crews work together is much better conceptually than last season’s Top Two Dance, when both crews were separated and forced to do the entire routine to a dance style they were unfamiliar with. Remember that? Good times…
Poreotix is the first returning champion to perform, and both of the current finalists share their positive thoughts and favorite performances from the robotic poppers. They will be dancing to Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” The setting is a college frat party, if the discarded red cups and Greek letters are any indication. The first half of the song is all robotic sound effects, because the less Rebecca Black, the better. The audio says, “We still have the small eye!” Well, it’s kind of pointless to mention that when you’re all wearing sunglasses, boys. And all Asian. They get into two rows and do some arm waving. Someone does a gainer, while someone else spins on his back. They do a lot of robotic choreography. They go into pairs and make Xs and other shapes with their arms. Charles waves his thumbs. They sleep and the alarm goes off and, gasp, it’s Friday already?! They stick their butts in the air and wiggle their legs, which is how a lot of people react to Fridays. They’ve also changed to regular glasses too. Also, butt jokes. Somebody comes out as Jason (from “Friday the 13th”) and kills some of them, but not permanently. They do some locking and grinding, and then “Jason” wins the easiest game of Beer Pong ever. Also, somebody does a brief kegstand but the camera cuts that off.

For now, only one judge will talk about each previous crew, and this time it’s JC Chasez. JC compliments them on their Friday-related humor and congratulates them on doing stuff with Bieber and Usher. He praises their intricacies, their power moves, and their humor.

Now it’s time for We Are Heroes, the only female champions so far. WAH gets their compliments from both sides, and Moon was actually at the taping of the Season 4 finale. It’s kind of neat how they had some footage of him (he’s right next to some Quest members). WAH is dancing to "Run the World (Girls)" by Beyoncé. They’re in leather S&M outfits, ponytails, and high heels, and they start out on aerial dance trapezes. Yeesh, it must be difficult to dance in high heels; it’d be like being saddled with two props. They whip their hair. They do some fast choreography, and stick out their butts. They do some booty-shaking, and they’re the only winning crew that can do that and still have it feel natural. Two of the girls do headstands. They split into two sides and have dueling body rolls with each other. They hop around a bit. Again, I have to think the heels play some part in their limited range of motion. They get one hand on the ground and do pelvic thrusts in the air. Nichelle and Ali do backflips in a circle around the stage and immediately go into splits while the three in the middle do some waving. In the end, they all bust out whips and make sexy poses. Oh, it’s definitely S&M. And ever since this show played the Rihanna song titled “S&M,” I don’t feel guilty constantly referencing it here.

Because we don’t need to hear about D-Trix’s hard nipples, it’s Lil Mama’s turn to talk. Wearing a Lady Gaga-like wig, she calls them passionate. She loves how athletic and inspiring they are. She appreciates their charity work, “We Are Heroes: Pray & Hope for Japan.” Then she babbles for a bit.

Quest Crew is next. I notice that in these segments, usually it’s IaMmE who talk about what they like about the crews, while ICONic Boyz talk about what performances they liked. Anyhow, this routine should be interesting, considering they have Aris instead of D-Trix. They’re performing to "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO, because nothing screams a party like wearing matching pajamas. Their theme is a sleepover. Ryan and Steve get into pillowfights. Well, they are the two most boyishly cute members. They lean into other people’s feet and get pushed into backflips. Victor does his best impersonation of a human crab. Two of them spin the pillows and then spin themselves over two guys who are bent over. Honestly though, the pillows and blankets are a distraction on the stage at times. I don’t like seeing random polka dots everywhere. Plus, usually Quest does well enough with just having no frills performances. They shake their booties, and Steve does a flip on the stage that he invented (according to D-Trix). They go into fancy footwork, and Feng gets a solo. Steve swipes a pillow, causing Ryan to do a suicide jump and fall on his back. He bounces back up and winces in fake pain. One of the pillows is loaded with feathers, which the camera captures in slow motion as Ryan uses it to smack Steve, who flips in the air like a cartoon. They hear a knock on the door, so the entire crew grabs their pillows and pretend to sleep.

D-Trix talks about the fun times with his former crew. He loves them and misses them and talks as if he wants to write them sappy poetry. He praises their moves and tricks, and I’m curious as to what his current status is in relation to the group. Is he still invited to the next Quest Crew picnic?

Now it’s Super Cr3w’s turn to perform. The two crews talk about the world class b-boys and how it’ll be an honor to perform on the same stage. Super Cr3w is performing to "Power" by Kanye West, and they’re dressed like ninjas once again. And they gained a ninja too. They also earn bonus points with me for taking down Mario as he’s announcing them. They leap onto the stage. A guy does jackhammers in the middle. They throw a guy in the air and he does TWO backflips. A guy does a sidechair spin. They do headslides, freezes, and if you were to close your eyes and randomly pick from a list of breakdancing moves, they probably did that too somewhere. They do some downrocking and a lot of floorwork. One of the guys walks on the other’s backs and goes into backspins. I wish I could identify them by name, but they’re all dressed the same and their faces are covered, so bleh. A guy does air flares, which leads into a backflip and a freeze. They are certainly very businesslike when it comes to representing the b-boy style. In the end, there’s a puff of smoke, and they “disappear.” And pay no attention to the suspicious looking device on the floor!

Lil Mama (who I now noticed has a logo on her chest labeled “VYP”) is amazed by their stunts and probably thinks they actually disappeared. She praises Ben for hitting those “double babies,” which sounds kind of violent. And much like Quest Crew, it looks like a few of the crew members decided not to shave anymore.

Finally, it’s JabbaWockeeZ turn, and their presence is given the most hoo-hah. They’re headlining in Las Vegas, and much respect is paid to them. They’re performing to "Devastating Stereo" off their new album, MÜS.I.C., pronounced “Muse I See.” They start out entering from a giant boombox, and there’s a lot more of them than I remembered. Were there always twenty-five of them? Oh, but then the real JabbaWockeeZ show up to perform as the rest march off the stage. They’re all wearing masks and red outfits so it’s kind of hard to tell who’s real or not. No idea who that mysterious krumping FakeWockeeZ member was. Certainly nobody famous from this season! The real Jabba members pause for a bit when one of them shuts off a tiny boombox. Then they go into intricate choreography that I am hard-pressed to describe with mere words. It’s fast. It’s precise. It’s theatrical. They fall to their sides and slide back up. And then they bring out a kid from inside the medium-sized boombox. The kid, who is probably six or seven years old, steals the scene with her intricate moves. Like it or not, it’s been a pretty big year for children. For the finish, the rest of the ImpostorWockeeZ step back on stage and salute the original Jabbas, who stand in the front with their arms crossed, all serious. Well, they could be making goofy faces behind those masks for all we know, but let’s pretend they’re serious.

JC credits the Season 6 West crews for showing up to dance in the beginning, and praises the Mini-Jabba performer, who is adorable. Between her, B-boy Jalen, and those kids from Future Funk, there are some really talented pint-sized dancers out there. JC calls the JabbaWockeeZ a real inspiration and wonderful ambassadors for ABDC, which I’d say is the perfect way to describe them.

And now it’s back to Season 6. Oh, right, those guys. IaMmE vs. ICONic Boyz.

ICONic Boyz gets their very special season montage first, and appropriately the montage is played to a Bieber song. And then… they get another dance? Oh, wow, that means this episode has nine dances altogether. This episode is much more densely packed than the previous episode and I love it. Anyhow, they are dancing to "Yeah 3x" by Chris Brown, because nothing charms the ladies like a song sung by an abusive unapologetic ass. They have an interesting and creative formation in the beginning. There’s pairs on the sides and a trio in the middle. I wonder who taught them that one. One kid does half of a flare. They stick out their arms and make chopping motions. All of them get their own solo moment, which is a nice touch. They do some choreography, and it’s slightly better than their usual stuff. It’s a little faster and intricate than their stuff in the early weeks. It’s still not great and I can still do it at home without hurting myself, but there’s a little more complexity in the routine. They end by pointing to their banner. I’m so glad they know which banner is theirs. That way, they know where to look if it falls.

Now it’s IaMmE’s turn. They get a montage too, thankfully not to the music of Bieber. They’re performing to "Rocketeer" by Far East Movement. Their opening formation has them in halves, with a guy leaning on another’s feet, with the girl underneath their legs. Then those nearly triangular-shaped-formations start moving across the stage as the guys do backstrokes and the girls roll on the floor. They do some choreo and go into a Brain Banging formation, where they punctuate the usual tutting and waving with some popping by Philip. They throw in a Super Mario reference by having Moon mimic the Mario pose as Philip carries him to the sound of coins. Brandon does a backflip. They do some more choreography, and it’s very groove-based. Sometimes I forget they’re from the South because it’s usually their Brain Banging that I remember the most. Three of them get on the ground as the other three stand over them and do mirrored choreography. While the girls grab onto the guy’s legs as they step forward in slo-mo, Emilio does a round-off into a backflip as the audio states that it’s “one small step for IaMmE, one giant leap for ABDC.” The end. It’s not their best, but it’s a pretty good routine that shows what makes them stand out from every other crew- dancing with clever visuals, sharp techniques, and a strong Southern influence.

The judges get their final say on both crews, not like it really matters what they say now. Nobody says anything juicy or negative anyways. As for the Season Six champions… IaMmE wins! Woo! Yeah! The South gets its first victors!

IaMmE’s victory dance, where each member gets a moment to shine, is to "Written in the Stars" by Tinie Tempah, AKA the song heard in the beginning of each episode. And as IaMmE was the first crew to perform this season, it’s fitting that they are also the last. We’ve gone full circle! What a wacky season this has been, and I still have many issues with it, but it’s been topped off with a worthy winner, one who easily stands up with the previous champions. America got it right during the week it mattered the most, and I can sleep easier now. Goodnight, everybody!
Click here to return to the first page and to leave comments. Thanks Byeynyn for your commentary and humor all season -- it's been fun watching along with you!