Saturday, April 16, 2011

Zekeish's review of ABDC's Ke$ha Challenge

Now for my grading scale, I’m not a big numbers fan, so I have decided to do this review with words serving as my ratings. My scale is as follows
OH MY TITS= A perfect performance. Their transitions were on point, their choreography was squeaky clean, they had wow moments that made you want to disrespect the nearest replay button. Basically the performance that makes a season
FANTABULOUS= Close to a perfect performance. There was just one thing that kept them from being perfection incarnated.
FREAK A LEAK= A great performance. Definitely an eye catcher, but had some problems with some aspects of their performance
GOODISH= A good performance. Had some noticeable problems but still had an overall solid performance that has rewatchablitly
MEH= An okay performance, nothing outside the ordinary. Had some glaring problems or provided no real wow factor.
INCREDIBLY MEDIOCRE= A very average performance. Worse than okay, but good enough to where I could sit through the performance, Barely
WELL, THAT SUCKED= A less than average performance, nothing really went right here. Had some concepts that could have been executed better, but nothing really made you like the performance. You wanted to find the nearest dark place and hide there until the performance is over
I'D RATHER WATCH A JUSTIN BEIBER CONCERT= A horrible performance. You’d rather be subjected to Beiber and thousands of 11 year old girls screaming in your ear… Shame
GROUP PERFORMANCE- I had read where some people that went to the tapings said that the group performance this week was just as good as last weeks. If you happened to have been on acid, then yes, this performance would have been great. Granted you would see dancing toaster ovens and teddy bears if on acid but nonetheless. For us sober people this group performance was underwhelming. JAG6ED showed that they have a little something to give and didn’t do bad, Instant Noodles did the best in the performance, with their rhythm timed freezes and well executed choreography. FootworKINGz showed they were good at footwork and 787 showed that they can do tricks… a lot. Finally the last group of the performance Iconic Boyz showed that they are young, nothing more. Anyway, with only two of the crews giving me something to cheer about…

FOOTWORKINGZ-Before they even got on the stage I said to myself “they better be damn sure they are better than BYFK”, THANK GOD they were. They do footwork, but it’s a lot different than BYFK, When the FWK’s do it, their clean, interesting to watch and I feel like they can give more than just footworking. The beginning of their performance was very cool, they gave robotics and a good visual of their girl stepping out of the middle. Then they got straight into why they were on the ABDC stage, their footwork. This footworking took up the rest of the performance. Granted, it was clean and their energy level was crazy through the roof, but I got kind of bored with the footwork by the end of the performance. When you have 5 seconds of robotics and 55 seconds of footworking, it leaves me wanting more. Their performance was entertaining, I just wanted to see some more versatility out of them. Next week should prove interesting for this fast footed crew.

787 CREW- I knew this crew was going to be a trick oriented crew from the beginning, and to hear that they had one member break his leg before the performance was very saddening, but that doesn’t change how I will rate them. To be honest I disliked this performance, especially after watching it a couple times, I got bored middle of the way through. I call it the status quo effect, way too many tricks, horrible choreo. That’s exactly what 787 crew brought to the stage. They had so many tricks and when they weren’t doing tricks, they were doing horrible choreography as filler until they got to the next sequence of tricks. After 5 seasons of seeing “trick” crews, nothing they did really amazed me. The spin flip setup was nice, where the man used another man’s back and vaulted himself in midair spinning over the remaining crew mates. That was cool, but that was literally the only trick I hadn’t seen before. Lil mama and Dtrix praised them, and I was sitting there, dumfounded as to why no one was saying how bad their choreo was. I guess when you have 50 seconds of tricks and 10 seconds of choreography, some people ignore that their choreo existed. Thusly DARE I SAY IT… INCREDIBLY MEDIOCRE

ICONIC BOYZ- Once this crew got announced, I was like; okay well I’ll give them a chance and see what they got. Just a warning, I am not judging them based on the fact that their kids, I am judging them compared to every crew that performed, basically they are grown midgets in my eyes. With that said this performance was lacking in a lot of aspects. It had no definitive moment, the choreography was basic at best and nothing seemed to flow together at all. It was like, okay we are doing this move, then this move, then this move… nothing flowed for me. Somewhere near the end of their performance they had a sample of “The Situation” from jersey shore saying “if you don’t like the situation, imma make you like the situation”. During this part one of the dancers revealed he had airbrushed abs on his body. THIS was the highlight of the performance. Zekeish are you kidding me? No, I am not kidding with you, this was their only highlight. They tried another highlight with a much failed spin flip but either way.  I’ve somehow survived 3 seasons of jersey shore without liking any of the cast members, and the growing hatred nationwide for jersey shore makes me think, why would you want to affiliate yourself with that garbage? I get that this crew is from jersey, but if this crew has to rely on something like this to get the crowd cheering every week, they need to go home, and go home NOW. (If any “grown up” crew did this exact performance, they would be shunned worse than a woman showing her face in Saudi Arabia)

JAG6ED- The pole dancing crew! Showcasing the first every use of poles on an ABDC stage. I was actually impressed by their routine in the group performance, so I was anticipating what they could do with a whole minute. I don’t know what I was expecting, but either way, this performance was not very good. JAG6ED definitely had a great idea with the pole dancing, but I feel like it could have been executed a lot better than what it was. JAG6ED was given the best mix of the night to dance to, and they did some creative stuff. For example the spinning perfectly horizontal at the end was cool. The girls dropping off the poles on the bass line of the song was interesting and they had some good visuals, but it was very slow. Everything transition was a walking transition and they got into their pole dancing very slowly. Overall, I have mixed feelings about this whole performance. I think if JAG6ED would have been introduced on to the show in about 2 years, after they had time to really perfect the combination of pole dancing and floor choreography, they could have had a real chance at going far. Unfortunately they walked right into an early elimination. Not to mention they are left with the sting of the judges’ comments basically condemning them as strippers. I SAY… INCREDIBLY MEDIOCRE

INSTANT NOODLES- Let me just say, instant noodles has the best hand sign in the history of ABDC. Okay, now with that said, let me get onto their performance. I feel very differently than a lot of people about this performance, I really enjoyed what they did on that stage. Now, I did expect more from them, but I still appreciate the performance. The trio of flares that they did was easily the best moment of the night, and I really liked how they showed their creativity by using so much floor work in the performance. I also really liked how they still used their injured man even though he wasn’t performing with them. Their injured guy also played a part in the story they were trying to tell, to me, a very creative way to use that sixth guy without actually having him dance. However, this performance was lacking in choreography, and they did get posey in the middle there, but I think the flares and the bboy sections made up for what they were lacking in choreo. I do expect them to step up their game next week.  Now they are going against the top crews, so they got to come harder. I SAY OL CHAP= GOODISH
1)    FootworKINGz' beginning
2)    787’s spin trick
3)    Instant Noodle’s triple flairs

HEY YO ZEKEISH, DID THEY GET IT RIGHT? Actually, I don’t think they did. I think Iconic Boyz should have gone home tonight. I feel (if judged fairly) JAG6ED had a better performance than them. Even though JAG6ED doesn’t have a lot to give to the show, tonight they were better, and I can’t help but to think how good RNG or Empire Kids would have been in Iconic’s place. I am hoping America doesn’t vote for them just because they are kids dancing. Unfortunately that’s probably going to happen. Poor strippers, they tried to break the mold, they tried.

This marks the end of my review, feel free to disagree or agree with me. Respectfully… No, YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOUR LIFE!. Adios amigos

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